I Am Not Afraid Of A Woman

To my grandmothers, mothers, aunts, sisters, and daughters….

Many of you have experienced discrimination and abuse in this society, in your communities, and even in your homes. It has been indicated that you are subservient and less than a man. Less important and less valued in the eyesight of God and society. But that is incorrect.

You are meant for more than just being silent….just being seen and not heard. You are meant for more than being subservient: obeying others unquestioningly, being less important, having no will, existing only to make someone else happy. This is not your purpose… your will and your gifts, your passions and your ambitions, your skill sets and your experiences…matter.

I know that many of you will never admit it, but you have been hurt by the beliefs, words, and actions of men who were supposed to love and protect you. Whether it be your fathers, your husbands, your sons, supervisors, or leaders. But as a man I empower you and declare that I am not afraid of you.

You are strong and courageous. You are intelligent and capable of anything. If every woman packed up, boarded a ship and left this planet there would be no comfort, no success, no home, no children, businesses would fail, wars would never end, and the world would become degredated and harden by nuclear testosterone.

As the yin cannot exist in complete wholeness without the yang, we cannot exist without you.

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I am not afraid of a woman.

I am not afraid of your beauty. With your many shapes and sizes….. long hair, short hair, or no hair, you are beautiful. With your many outfits and accessories, with your sandals or house shoes, your jimmy choo’s or payless shoes, you are beautiful. With your ups and your downs, with your many arrays of emotions, with all of your complexities and diversities, you are beautiful.

I am not afraid of a woman.

I am not afraid of your confidence. You are talented and intellectual. You walk light but stand firm. The universe has made you wise and insightful. You are organized and resourceful. You are compassionate, and positive, forward thinking and resilient. You don’t give up because you can’t give up, and you can’t give up because you believe to strongly in possibilities.

I am not afraid of a woman

I am not afraid of your self worth. You are the majestic flowers in the Garden of Longevity. Beaming with your many colors. You are delicate but strong, gentle but unyielding. You have been beaten by the winds and the rains and yet you shine. When gray clouds cover the blue sky, you never lose your color, your fragrance, nor your character. You are the flower that grows out of the dirt, you are the flower that springs forth through the concrete. You are the flower that brings hope, happiness, and the prospect of possibility.

I am not afraid of a woman.

I am not afraid of your influence. You have shaped me. You are the reason that I am. For nine months you housed me. You have expanded my intellect and challenged my beliefs.

My heart has been joyfully afflicted by your love and my destiny is intertwined with the essence of you…in fact your name is synonymous with super glue.

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No matter what I become, what I achieve, no matter what positions I hold or the amount of power delegated to me……you are not less than me. You are not less than me, you are my foundation, you are not less than me, you are my motivation and my battery because you charge and drive me. No matter what shovenisms men pour out and in spite of the simple-minded idiocracies men may blunder…. Don’t take down, don’t back down. Don’t doubt yourself. NO! Stand up and know who you are. Remember your worth and see your true self.

For every man that ever hit you…I apologize. Don’t ever let anyone do that to you again, because you are more precious than gold.

For every man that ever belittled you….I apologize. It wasn’t you. It was me. It was my insecurities. I thought by belittling you I would be bigger, but I didn’t realize that by your very nature, you make me better.

For every husband that never said it…..I say thank you for all you do. You are the glue that holds this family together. I don’t see all of the planning, organization, hard work, cooking, and cleaning, teaching and loving that you do on a daily basis but you….. you make this family work.

For every father that never told you……You are my daughter, and you can do anything, because daddy believes in you. I am proud of you. And I am honored that God gave me the job of being your dad. I will defend you until my dying breath.

To my Grandmothers, Mothers, Aunts, Sisters, and Daughters….

You teach me to be caring, gentle, loving, and kind. Its because of you I’m not afraid of these emotions. It is because of you that I am not afraid of a woman.

Kelvin Willingham (2017)